Tips for Generative Listening

“Most people don’t listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” – Steven Covey

The fundamental unit of work for a lot of us is a conversation. Yet, so often our conversations go awry. 

What we say isn’t what is heard.
What we hear isn’t what is said.
We make assumptions about a lot of things in our conversations or leave things unclear.
All of which can lead to having non-versations.

What does it take to understand and to be understood in the many fundamental units of work we have on the daily? 

Clear communication takes work. We must listen to what’s being said, repeat what we heard and ask if it is correct or complete, ask clarifying questions, double check our assumptions, recognize when we’ve shut down our listening, name what arises in us based on what we hear, ask more open honest questions to get more context or understanding. 

Considering the list above: how often do you adhere to those principles and practices in your daily conversations? 

Many of these fall to the wayside the faster we go, the more urgency is in the room, and the larger our team gets, and yet these are the crucial times to slow our conversations down long enough to make sure we’ve covered all we need to cover and everyone in the room has a clear understanding of what was discussed. This is just as true for executive teams as it is for the teams throughout the entire organization. 

Understanding how we listen is at the heart of good communication. In today’s podcast episode, we ask: How well do you listen? How does that affect every conversation you’re in? Were you only 30% listening? Are you a Swiss cheese listener? What is a generative model for listening to help us listen better (and help us lead the persons in front of us)? My colleague Miriam Meima joins me for another conversation on the levels of listening and why listening is the most important leadership skill, no matter what seat you hold in your work or life.